Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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