things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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