Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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