redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
