If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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