does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
