at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize