you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
