I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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