she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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