I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
