Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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