small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
