She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
