Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
