what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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