I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
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Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
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I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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