so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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