I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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