I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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