so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
organizing the empties. That sober.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
