You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
