She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
she looked like the before picture.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Randomize
