Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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