MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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