She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
