I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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