I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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