my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
