just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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