i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
