NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
