She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
