Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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