we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
