how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
