420 ftw
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
