He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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