Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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