i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
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No more Irish car bombs ever.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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