Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
operation have a gay friend backfired
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
