I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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