I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
