me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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