Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
