she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
