My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
That's intense
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
sarcasm needs its own font
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
