Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
