No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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