that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
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They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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