plz talk dirty to me
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
