I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
