Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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