thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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