Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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