A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
