I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
My pussy is not your playground.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
