sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
