Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
