I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he shaved USA in his pubs
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
